Eternity (by James Joyce)

This is my favorite description of eternity. It's from the book "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" which I have never finished. I've read it many times but I always get to the same point and then stop. Luckily, this passage is in the portion that I read and re-read. I love it.

You have often seen the sand on the seashore. How fine are its tiny grains! And how many of those tiny little grains go to make up the small handful which a child grasps in its play. Now imagine a mountain of that sand, a million miles high, reaching from the earth to the farthest heavens, and a million miles broad, extending to remotest space, and a million miles in thickness; and imagine such an enormous mass of countless particles of sand multiplied as often as there are leaves in the forest, drops of water in the mighty ocean, feathers on birds, scales on fish, hairs on animals, atoms in the vast expanse of the air: and imagine that at the end of every million years a little bird came to that mountain and carried away in its beak a tiny grain of that sand. How many millions upon millions of centuries would pass before that bird had carried away even a square foot of that mountain, how many eons upon eons of ages before it had carried away all? Yet at the end of that immense stretch of time not even one instant of eternity could be said to have ended. At the end of all those billions and trillions of years eternity would have scarcely begun. And if that mountain rose again after it had been all carried away, and if the bird came again and carried it all away again grain by grain, and if it so rose and sank as many times as there are stars in the sky, atoms in the air, drops of water in the sea, leaves on the trees, feathers upon birds, scales upon fish, hairs upon animals, at the end of all those innumerable risings and sinkings of that immeasurably vast mountain not one single instant of eternity could be said to have ended; even then, at the end of such a period, after that eon of time the mere thought of which makes our very brain reel dizzily, eternity would scarcely have begun."

March 10, 2010

Last weekend, Matt and I took the train up to visit his parents in Moorpark, CA. It had been a long time since we had done that so I was excited. I always enjoy riding on the train. Actually, I enjoy all public transportation with one exception. The Bus. I will never take a bus unless it's the only option; it's just too costly in terms of time. Once, my old roommate, Jocelyn, and I took the bus down to Venice Beach from Westwood and it took 4 hours. FOUR HOURS. That is insane for a distance that takes no more than 30 minutes by car. Obviously, we chose the wrong bus but I don't care. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

On the other hand, I get giddy when I get to ride subways, monorails, trolleys, ferries...anything I didn't have growing up in Brawley or during my many years in Los Angeles. In fact, that's one of my favorite parts about travelling to other cities and countries. I just think it's fun trying to figure out the ticket system and the maps. It's extra hard in foreign countries that don't speak English but that's part of the fun. It gives you such a feeling of accomplishment when you end up in the correct place and you haven't been fined for riding without the proper ticket.

Train travel is my favorite mode of transportation in Europe. I could just stare out the window all day. We also took a lovely train in Australia from Sydney to the Blue Mountains. In America, I've only ridden the Amtrak Pacific Surfliner. The ride from San Diego to Orange County is nice because it goes along the coast and you can often see guys surfing right outside. After it goes inland, however, there isn't much of a view until you get past Van Nuys. I've never gone past Moorpark but I hope to take the train up to Santa Barbara sometime. I'll bet the ride is pretty up there also.

Anyway, we had a nice visit with Matt's parents and then his brother's family came over. Blake and Janet have 2 kids that are both adorable. Of course, I spend most of my time just staring at Lucas who is only 8 months old. He is such a happy baby that he warms my heart. I sometimes wonder if I really don't want kids or if I just think I don't. Ultimately, I know I'm too selfish and it's too late anyway. I just hope I don't regret the decision someday.

Before the visit up north, I was doing really well with my diet. I worked out Monday through Thursday (Friday, I had to pack, etc. since I was leaving right after work). I followed my eating plan and I think I had lost at least 1 pound during the week. The weekends are always my downfall, however, and this one was no exception. Not only did I eat a Snickers bar, chips and salsa, trail mix and wine for dinner on Friday but we had a Mexican feast on Saturday...twice. Then I didn't work out at all this week and I went to In-N-Out for dinner tonight. Ugh. My weigh-in next Monday is going to SUCK.

I haven't done much constructive in the past few weeks either. Oh, I did get my Social Security card in the mail so I'm officially Susan Diane Shank Barron now. It's weird but I'll get used to it. Now, I just have to do DMV, passport, mortgage, title, credit cards, bills, etc., etc., etc.

For fun, I've been watching a lot of TV now that my shows are back on. My favorite new show this year is "The Good Wife". It's really well done and the cast is great. I also started reading another Sookie novel. I had to read an adult vampire story after suffering through Twilight. It's not Pulitzer material but it's fun...and I'm still on the waiting list for The Help at the library.

Believe it or not, I checked out the audiobook for New Moon from the library on Monday. I don't know what possessed me. Actually, it isn't that bad so far. I listened on the drive up to L.A. today and I found myself engrossed. Maybe it's the WAY I read the Twilight series. I feel some of the dialog is corny so I think I'm reading it that way, kind of making fun of it. I'm a slow reader because I sort of act out the book in my head as I go. When I don't like it, I almost picture myself rolling my eyes as if telling an audience that I'm not buying it. When someone else reads it, however, I just listen and visualize the story. I'm not as focused on the dialog. So we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll like it more if I just listen to it.