February 27th

It's raining outside. I love it. I sometimes wish I could live in a place that experienced more weather. I say this as someone who lives in a very sunny climate and always has. Were I to actually move to my dream place, I might find that I hate it. I'll never know unless I try, though. Someday.

I didn't quite meet my goal of 4 workouts this week but I did do 3 so that's not bad. It's still pretty active.

I don't know that I accomplished something constructive every day this week but I did get one of my most procrastinated tasks completed. I changed my name. I visited Social Security on Wednesday. As soon as I got there and saw that there was no parking, I knew it wouldn't be a quick trip. Luckily, as I turned around to drive out the other driveway and take a spot on the street, a woman walked up to her car to leave. I maneuvered a little so that I would be in position to take her spot but still give her room to pull out. Unfortunately, I was blocking one of the driveways. Since she was already trying to back out, I figured it wouldn't be a problem. Wouldn't you know that some old guy drives up in his car right at that moment and wants to exit out of the driveway I am blocking. He honked. I motioned to the woman that was pulling out of her spot. I couldn't really pull forward or I would be in her way. Of course, she was having difficulty because her tire was up on the curb a bit so she was taking longer than I had expected. All of a sudden, the man was out of his car, walking up to my window. I cracked it a few inches and he started yelling, "I'm calling the police on you!". I just laughed and said, "Go ahead. Good luck with that." I knew I'd be out of the way in about 30 seconds and, sure enough, I was. I noticed the security guard from the Social Security office walking back inside. He had come to check on me. He asked what happened when I got inside. Then he brought me a little rating card for service in the office "since he had made contact with me". I was in the midst of writing a nice review of him when I looked at some of the other questions on the form. It said, "what time was your appointment?" and "how long did you wait?". Appointment?!? I scoured their website and there was NO mention that I could make an appointment. I knew I should have called. I ended up waiting about an hour but at least I finally got it done. I have a bunch of other things to do once I get the new card but I've started the process and that feels great.

Regarding my free time for all things enjoyable, I spent most of it reading and watching movies. Sunday, I finished "Twilight". As I've mentioned before, I had a hard time with it. It would get interesting and then it would be very sophomoric. I had higher hopes for the movie and I was disappointed. It was the same thing. I usually like the lead actress but I thought she was stiff and awkward. In fact, all of the actors seemed pretty bad. Maybe it was the script. I also didn't feel like Robert Pattinson was that steamy. Okay, he had his moments but not enough of them to make me believe he was this irresistible being.

I also finished "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" this week. I had listened to part of it on audiobook when I drove to LA for work. I had high hopes for that as well and was, once again, disappointed. It's probably because the TV series is so well written that the book seemed like an average everyday mystery from the paperback bestseller list. Perhaps they should have hired Michael C. Hall to read the thing. I know that would have made a vast improvement. Still, when I read the latter part of the book, I imagined his voice and it didn't really help.

Last night, Matt and I watched "The Hurt Locker". This time, I was not disappointed. From the opening scene, I was on the edge of my seat. I loved how I felt transported to the war. It felt so real that I had a hard time winding down afterwards. It's easy to see why people can't wait to get out of there but the movie also helped me understand why, to some people, war is a drug.

Vampire Dog?

I love the end of this little clip of Dignan, especially the end, although it may be a little hard to see in such a small screen.

February 21st

I'm so lazy. Seriously. My big plan was to write my blog every day or two and it's been, what, 13 days since my last blog. Shameful.

I can tell you that I have been reasonably active. Aside from my trip to LA for work on Feb 10-11, I have worked out every single workday. That's 6 days of my regular workout. I had planned to do President's Day also but had a little mishap with some Chardonnay the night before. I really don't drink much even though I mention wine a lot. I usually only have 1-2 glasses in one night and that's usually only on weekends. However, we went out with Matt's friends on Sunday night and these particular friends seem to lull me into drinking and not realizing it. I've only thrown up twice in my life after drinking and it has always been with them. I don't think they are a bad influence. I think that I just lose track and then it creeps up on me. I really HATE throwing up and will do anything to keep it from happening which is part of the reason I watch what and how much I drink. I prefer to be just a little buzzed and that's it. I never enjoy being drunk because I like having control over my body. I've never done hallucinogenic drugs for the same reason....although, taking Ambien on long international flights, I have experienced hallucinations. I don't mind it then because I am still in control. I know that I can shut my eyes the second I want it to end and I will fall into sleep. Usually, I shut my eyes right around the time the stewardess points me out as some wacko who is seeing an elephant in the luggage compartment.

I don't know how much I did during the week to accomplish my goal of being constructive but I did manage to do a lot on the weekends; this one especially. I did all of the bills and finances, files our taxes (the only time of year I like paying mortgage interest), did the grocery shopping, made healthy dinners and unhealthy cookies, caught up on magazines and my Olympics recordings and created a new budget so Matt and I can clear up his debt and increase our credit score. Hurray!

I did do a lot of stuff that I enjoyed, starting with my trip to LA for work. I usually hate going up there but this time I had scheduled dinner with some friends. As it turns out, I was able to see several people I hadn't seen in years, including my ex-boyfriend, Mike. It's funny to write that he's my ex because I don't think of him that way AT ALL. In fact, I almost forget that we ever dated. We have been friends for so long. My friend, Stephanie, couldn't believe that I was seeing him and even asked Matt, "You're okay with this?" Maybe it's just our different ways of dealing with breakups but I don't hold grudges (except once) like she does. I admit that I'm not friends with any of my other exes but I have kept in contact with Mike and a lot of my friends are because of him. In fact, that dinner was with people I never would have met if it weren't for him...Catherine, Jenny and Kristen. Matt understands and that's why I love him. He doesn't make anything difficult, especially when there is no reason. After all this talk about Mike, I actually didn't talk to him much at all that night. I sat between Catherine and Jenny and it was great. I miss sitting around talking to girlfriends and I wish I could do it more often.

I also spent the earlier referenced night out with Matt's friends. They are a fun bunch of people and their kids are quite entertaining but that night I was more interested in one couple's new au-pair. She just moved here from Moldavia which is somewhere close to Russia. I'm not really up on my Eastern European geography but I have an idea of what life must be like. Anyway, she's a totally cute girl who really reminds me of the lead singer of The Sundays. (Remember them?) We were at the Wave House in Pacific Beach and it's right on the water so she snuck out to see the ocean. She was there for quite a while so I went out to her. She had never seen the ocean. She said she could not find the words. I tried to imagine seeing it for the first time, waves crashing, salty air, rhythmic rushing sounds...and I was amazed. It brought back the wonder of it all. It was so great to experience it through her eyes that I remember that moment more than all others from that night.

This past week, I haven't done much. I have been trying to finish "Twilight" but I'm finding it a bit too teenager-ish. They are just a little too in love for the amount of time involved. Then, I watched "Bright Star". I knew nothing about it except that it was about the poet John Keats and a woman he loved...directed by Jane Campion. I knew I was in trouble when I started bawling during a preview about a dog that meets his master at the train every day and one day the master doesn't show up (because he died) but the dog keeps coming day after day. I had no idea that John Keats died of tuberculosis so the end result was me with a soggy napkin and swollen eyes. I totally loved it, of course. I cry at the drop of a hat nowadays and it usually bugs me but I don't mind at all when it is during a fantastic, moving film. In fact, I relish it. This movie was beautiful to watch. More than that, it was beautiful to hear. I don't read poetry and don't understand it much when I do but I do know that I love the sound of it; the lyrical way it floats off the tongue. I could not turn off the end credits because Ben Whishaw was reciting "Ode to a Nightingale" and it was glorious. This was sexual tension and true love and all the things "Twilight" wishes it could be. This was why I love movies.

February 8th

I can't believe I forgot to mention the Superbowl yesterday. I would have rather seen the Chargers in it, of course, but I had no problem rooting for the Saints. Unless you are a regular Colts fan, you had to root for New Orleans. I mean, come on. It was actually a good game too; close right until the end. I've seen one too many boring Superbowl so this game was great...very enjoyable.

I'm in a much better mood today too. I don't know if it's because I'm weening myself off of one of my stomach drugs which happens to be a very low dose of something normally given to people for depression...but I've been very short-tempered lately and some days I just wake up in a funk. Not today! I did my normal workout this morning (ACTIVE) so I felt good after that. Then I was very good with my eating today. Okay, I have 50 minutes more because I always stop eating at 9pm but I think I will do it. I will have my tea and some cookies and all will be well.

I also had more energy today so I did a ton of laundry (CONSTRUCTIVE). I normally don't do Matthew's laundry but he's been working a lot lately so I thought I'd surprise him.

Now, I'm going to have my tea and watch "House" then I'm going to spend a few hours in Forks with the "Twilight" gang. I'm ENJOYing it more now that I'm a little further in.

February 7th

Hmmm. I don't seem to be doing very well on my "daily" blog. I guess all I can do is start again.

ACTIVE: I did work out 3 times last week which isn't as much as I'd like but it was better than nothing. I really think I need to work out 5 times a week if I'm ever going to get in shape and lose any weight. The truth is, I just can't diet. I never had to before. I always had a high metabolism so I ate whatever I wanted and it didn't matter. Unfortunately, it's now biting me in the ass. I don't have good eating habits and I have a terrible sweet tooth. I'm trying and I will do well for days at a time. I just can't sustain it. I feel like I'm eating healthier but I still crave something sweet after a meal.

CONSTRUCTIVE: I can't say that I did a lot this week that was constructive. I cleaned the living room today and I paid bills the other day. Other than that, I was pretty lazy. That's my biggest problem in life. I'm lazy. I have lots of ideas but I usually don't make them happen.

ENJOYABLE: Well, since this is the easiest of my resolutions, I did a lot that I enjoyed. I finished "Eat, Pray, Love" and I enjoyed being done with it. To be honest, I liked it a lot more when I was listening to the audiobook because the author narrated it and I think it helped me understand what she was trying to say. I just felt that she was a little arrogant, though not as bad as the woman that wrote "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle". I don't know. I kind of liked it...but not enough. So, now I'm reading "Twilight" even though I swore I wouldn't. Stephanie lent it to me and, since she read "Dead Until Dark" on my recommendation, I am taking her advice and giving this book a chance. I have only read 3 chapters and I don't hate it but I'm not sucked in yet either (no pun intended).

The best part of my week was definitely watching the season premiere of "LOST"...twice. I frickin' love that show. I will be so sad when it's over but, at the same time, I will be excited to be able to rewatch the whole series and know that that's everything. I don't have to wonder what's going to happen. I can look at it as a whole and enjoy looking for little clues that will foretell the end result. Actually, I'm hoping that Jeff Jenson from EW will write a book analyzing the show. He is a genius when it comes to that show and I have enjoyed reading his reviews and hypotheses of the show. He's not always right but he comes up with some awesome theories.

February 1st

It feels good to be ACTIVE again. I completed my full normal workout even though I had some moments of nausea. No, it's not morning sickness; its just me. If I don't get enough sleep, I get nauseous. I have never been able to stay up all night because I get nauseous once I get too sleepy. In fact, the closest I ever came to an all-nighter was sleeping only 3 hours before a final in college. Seriously. I've never stayed up all night. So, anyway, I couldn't sleep last night. I had a difficult time falling asleep which is normal for me because I often lie down and my mind suddenly starts racing. Usually, I try to focus on the (fictional) house I want to buy in Tuscany on a hillside beside a long winding road....or I turn on my rain machine and imagine I'm snuggly in bed while it's cold and rainy outside...or I count and try to visualize each number. Nothing worked last night. Well, I guess something did work because I ended up nodding off sometime after 12:30am. Of course, when Matt's alarm went off at 5:30am, that was it for me. I was awake even though I laid in bed for another hour and a half. Now, I know 5 hours seems like a lot but I actually need at least 6 hours, 6 1/2 really, if I want to function. Hence, the bouts of nausea.

My CONSTRUCTIVE thing for the day was ordering a pair of rain boots. Why, you say? Well, yes, I do live in San Diego but it rains here sometimes and I find myself wearing flip flops half the time to walk outside so I don't ruin any of my shoes. Not out in public but in the yard, etc. I think boots will be useful and I just wanted them...so there.

Once again, I ENJOYED playing Guitar Hero World Tour with Matt. Tonight, I played drums and Matt played guitar. We only did one gig but we got to do some new songs so that was fun.